The Hardest Part of Starting Something New
My journey to launch a new podcast and what I had to let go of to get here.
Today I published a full length episode of a new podcast I am calling Deepish Conversations. This is a big deal to me, and for me, because I have been wanting to have this conversation with Pat Barber of The Father’s Guild for over a year now. It took me that long to ask Pat for an interview because I kept telling myself I couldn’t.
Last month though, that changed. I planned, took notes, scheduled, recorded, edited, and now published the full interview, snippet videos and shorts from the episode. Everything it took to get here today only happened because I allowed myself to let go of something I have been holding on to for too long.
My Early Entry in Podcasting
I started podcasting back in 2011 under a show called Seat Time. It was a podcast for dirt bikers where we drank beer, talked about the weekends racing, and then we raced and rode as well. Over the years, the small brand has evolved a ton. When we first started, we were deep in the trenches of manually updating our RSS feed so Apple Podcasts could update and we were learning how to edit video. Youtube existed, but it wasn’t owned by google yet, so there was no ad revenue. For whatever reason in 2011, I knew I wanted to have a video podcast.
Seat Time has very much evolved with me. If it had become a bigger brand, it probably couldn’t have done that. But due to a small core audience, and my desire to become a better racer and rider, the articles, videos, and podcast episodes progressed with me. Dirt bike nutrition and the mindset of a racer became of high interest to me. I realized I was beginning to look at the Bike, Body, Mind of the whole human, instead of just the flesh wearing the helmet. But as my interests shifted toward a wider, more holistic look at racing, I received pushback from the wider dirt bike audience.
The pushback caught me off guard. Why weren't they interested in this stuff? It took me time to understand that dirt bikers don't talk about mindset, they just try to ride faster. Dirt bikers don’t train off the bike, they just force themselves to ride more. Dirt bikers don’t practice the habits they need for race day during the week, they drink six beers the night before a race and refer to it as carbo loading. The tension I felt was because I used to be the exact racer I just described.
I realized I had changed, I had evolved over the 14 years of creating Seat Time content. I wanted these racers and riders to change too, to evolve past the old school way of thinking about performance, sport, and athleticism. It was a quick learning curve to realize how little influence I had and that their growth was ultimately out of my control. That realization fundamentally changed how I thought about creating content.
Less About Them, and More About Me
I found myself at a crossroads: do I keep trying to find ways to nurture this desire to create content to help people through Seat Time or do I start to think about a different way to branch out. I still love riding dirt bikes, and I don’t plan on ever giving that up (until I have to) but I know right now I am desiring bigger, and deeper, conversations.
I have sat at this crossroad now for over a year, waiting for someone else to tell me what to do. I have texted ideas to friends, and they would send back a thumbs up. I would ask my wife random questions, hoping she would have the answer I had been waiting to hear. There’s also the format, should I write a book, should I make videos, should I lean back into substack; I had no idea what I wanted and I certainly had no idea how to get it.
So I kept making Seat Time content, but I didn’t do it mindlessly. I knew if I was going to do it, I wanted to fine tune my skills of content creation on all fronts for whatever this new venture of mine could be when it finally presented itself.
The Moment It Clicked
I can’t remember exactly what episode of Modern Wisdom it was, because I listen to pretty much every damn one (Chris, please make less content so I can invest more into each episode), but it snapped into place. I was formulating questions to ask the guests, or Chris (the host), as I was listening. I could feel the desire to be the host, to drive the conversation, to research the guests, and to find ways to let them speak in the moment. I wanted to host a podcast again.
In this day and age, that’s a pretty dumb thing to say. In 2011 it was hard as shit to start a podcast, no one was making them, AND no one was listening to them. Now everyone's mom has a podcast, and you’re automatically a small fish in the largest digital pond in the world.
This feeling of listlessness I had been carrying around was because I couldn’t accept that I had to let Seat Time go. I knew the time and effort I had been putting into Seat Time wasn’t fruitful; It was fun, but not fruitful. I had to come to the conclusion to think about Seat Time differently. It’s ok to create content, but it doesn’t have to be on a schedule. I don’t need to see the subscriber numbers rise, or have it be something I don’t want it to be.
With this drive to start something new, I reached out to Pat Barber of The Fathers Guild because he has been nice enough to respond to my rambling DM’s on the gram. I knew that if he said yes I was going to do it. I was going to research, upgrade equipment, and prepare to host a podcast again.
Pat also stuck out in my mind because of the journey I have been on as a Husband and Father. I do feel I have grown and evolved as I have dug into myself more. I had this belief in myself that I could show up with a questioning curiosity, while having enough experience and knowledge to dig into the deeper moments.
The First Yes
Considering all the reasons not to start a podcast, I recorded an episode anyway. It gave me an opportunity to research all the amazing new tools that are out there in the world of podcasting. “Back in the day” we were screen recording Skype calls so we could have video conversations with riders. After too many conversations with different LLM’s, and a few 7 free day demos, I bought into Riverside for one of the easiest processes I have ever had to record, edit, and export a podcast. Where the heck was this 14 years ago!
Now that this episode is out, I have so many more questions I want to ask Pat. I also have a list of guests I would love to chat with. Some of these guests I’ve thought about are authors of books I adore, some are those that could help me be a better father to my daughters. While others are professionals who have helped me in countless ways with my psoriatic arthritis and many physical and emotional injuries.
I have to be realistic here though, I am a nobody. Even though I have zero fear of sending a cold email or DM, the chance of it sitting there unread is high. So I am going to start within my circle of influence, people I already know and have a relationship with in hopes they are willing to give me a shot like Pat did.
#001 Deepish Conversations - Pat Barber | Video
The Real Problem Wasn't Dirt Bikers
Earlier I spoke about dirt bikers ignoring what I was trying to help them with. I’m far enough in my journey now to understand this isn’t a dirt biker problem, this is a human problem. I know now the questions I need to ask need to be for me. To help me continue my journey toward better health and lasting relationships, while allowing me to feel more comfortable in my own skin.
My hope is that as I get answers to those questions, that resonates with others. That in my journey and learnings, they feel where they may desire change, and leverage this content as a way to begin for themselves.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
Maybe there is something you need to let go of so you can move forward and grow. For me, it was the restraints I had put on myself about the growth of Seat Time. I see it differently now, and know Seat Time can exist, and be fun, without the need of a schedule or the desire for growth.
I hope this first episode of Deepish Conversations resonates with you. If you learned something, felt a pull at your heart strings, or had questions arise you want answers to, please leave them below as a comment (here or on youtube). I’d love the conversation to continue, instead of it falling flat due to the episode or article “being done”.
I don’t want to be done.
#001 Deepish Conversations - Pat Barber | Audio