Fulfillment comes from the value you find in your effort.

Not the results on the scoreboard.

Oct 23, 2024

During my recent enduro in Stillwater, I attacked the trail well and I stayed off the ground. Between test sections, I was excited with how I was riding. I would chit chat with my riding buddies, eat and hydrate, and genuinely felt like I was firing at 100%.

Once the results were posted my attitude changed. It shifted into a thought pattern of judgment and failure. I immediately began comparing myself to those that had faster times than myself, stealing away all the joy and fulfillment I had been feeling moments earlier. This is “comparison is the thief of all joy” in action.

Comparison is the thief of joy. - President Theodore Roosevelt.

Here’s what’s happening

When a racer is in the moment, there is nothing else that exists. A flow state though can be hard to come by. For those that don’t find it easily, our minds can wander. We start thinking about life, and not the task at hand. We attack a little less than we think we are, because we’re not wholly focused on 100% effort; we just think we are.

When I was back at the truck between test sections, I wouldn’t have a great understanding of how connected, or disconnected, I was from whatever my 100% effort truly was. I would have a sense of joy though from the fact that I was riding my dirt bike, I was hanging with my riding buddies, I was out in nature, excited to be feeling the strain of pushing my mind and body. All of those moments while racing are what brings me joy and fulfillment.

If I only find joy and fulfillment in the result at the end of an event, the feeling of failure is imminent. I can not control the result, I can only control my effort that can bring me a result. By controlling my effort to the best of my ability, I’m giving myself my best shot at a “good result”. But I don’t have control over the other competitors and the race that they are also racing. They could be having the best ride of their life, they could be a local to the area with better conditional knowledge, or they could just be better than me on the day.

I can not control the result, I can only control my effort that can bring me a result.

This is what “comparison is the thief of all joy” looks like. When I compare my result to other racers' results, I lose. My inability to beat them becomes my inability to perform, to win, to be seen as a winner. I am now opening the door to see myself as a failure.

How do we treat this differently?

As competitors, we have to compare ourselves to other competitors because that’s how we can find our weaknesses. Not winning is not a weakness, not giving your best effort is a weakness. The comparison that we do though isn’t based on the results, it’s based on the effort and the performance. If someone beats you, find out where and why they beat you. If that is a weakness of yours, and it wasn’t just an off day, make that weakness a strength.

Not winning is not a weakness, not giving your best effort is a weakness.

The scoreboard is only finite for the amount of time until the next event or competition. The value you place on yourself can not be defined from the scoreboard, it has to be defined in the effort you put in. Parents, sponsors, friends and loved ones may try to tell you you’re not the best you can be because you’re not winning. If you know you’re putting in the best effort you can day in and day out to become the best version of yourself, you are winning. Those compounding traits will keep you on a path to where the “good rides” will compound into a “good result”.

It’s also worth noting that we have chosen to give importance to the words “good” and “bad”. Inherently, those are just words. Don’t allow them to have power over you. Give yourself the space to enjoy the moments as they happen.

I’m a human first and a competitor second. I can’t put the results of the competitor above the needs of the human.

I am now forcing myself to look back on the times between the test sections. The times I mentioned earlier where I was just happy to be outside riding my dirt bike and chatting with buddies. In those moments, I was fulfilled and content, and the results didn’t matter. That was a damn good day riding my dirt bike really fast.